Last night on Survivor One World, the Tikiano Tribe made their biggest move yet. Or at least that’s what I’ve been told. I don’t really get that. I feel like it was just the latest in a long line of dumb moves, at least on the men’s side of the game.
Before we get to all that, let’s back up. At the start of the game Jay and Troyzan are dead-set on a girl going home. Which would proabably be a smart move on their part. But then again, they’re trying to stay loyal to their former tribe which consited of a few girls. Aaaaagh the decisions! Too much for their brains!
Jay gets some tree-mail in a 7-Up bottle, which means Survivor will be whoring 7-Up this episode. So much so that it’s sponsoring the reward challenge. The tribe gathers to hear all about that. They’ll divide into two tribes for the game and they’ll have to slide down a giant water slide, run into the water and obtain large crates that will double as puzzle pieces. The first tribe to complete the challenge wins a trip to the 7-Up Oasis for a barbecue. Burgers, steaks and all the 7-Up you can handle.
The teams divide up as such: Jay, Troy, Kat, Alicia and Chelsea are the green team. Mike, Kim, Sabrina, Leif and Christina are the yellow team. Tarzan sits this one out. He’s probably afraid Chelsea will kill him in the water. That is if she could do so without actually touching him.
The yellow team wins and now it’s time to go wash the 7-Up filth off me. It had its way with me and I didn’t ask for it.
The losing team are back at camp talkng about who to send home this when when they’re stricken by guilt as the people they’re talking about are nice enough to bring them a giant cooler of MORE 7-Up. Gah! More whoring. They drink some and then it disappears which means we’ll never seem the finish all that 7-Up unless 7-Up pays for the spot again next week.
People continue to go back and forth about who to send home this week, which we all know is a very common occurance. So that’s too boring to talk about. What’s not boring is the hilarity that is Chelsea and Tarzan. This week, Poppy Underweargate is over and we’re on to a new spat. And it’s a beautiful one. Tarzan asks Chelsea is she hates him becase she had a bad experience with her plastic surgeon (Tarzan is a plastic surgeon). Hahahahahahahahahaha. Hold on. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha OK. That’s amazing. Apparently Tarzan, using his professional opinion, thinks Chelsea’s boob job is awful. I love you, Tarzan.
Now it’s on to the immunity challenge. And as usual, it’s another puzzle. Jay plays dumb (plays?) for awhile but some how comes from behind and wins immunity. So it’s not Jay who the tribe turns on and sends home. Then who is it I wonder! Hmmm. Finally a group decides “let’s just do Chritina.” Like they were deciding on where to go to dinner. But then Mike’s name comes up. But then it’s Christina. Then Mike. At this point I think I’m supposed to know the plan, but I’m not sure. Confusion. I think it’s Kim who is running the game at this point. And she gets what she wants during the vote this week.
At Tribal Council Jeff makes fun of everyone which almost isn’t as fun this time around because they’re all so easy to make fun of. Jeff and I find it hilarious that they’re all so confident that they’re safe. Which actually does mean they’re good at two things and that’s lying and keeping secrets. And those are two pretty good elements to successful reality TV game play.
It’s time for the vote and Jeff reveals a vote for Christina. A vote for Tarzan. Another vote for Christina and Tarzan. Then a vote for Mike. Whaaaaat? Another for Mike. And another. And another. Bye bye Mike. The girls have it their way again.
